Almost every school I visit I hear the same thing. The PTA President or Principal says something to the effect of “Because of the media, everything any kid does nowadays is ‘bullying’ “. And I’ve found that to be true. Little Johnny gives Billy a dirty look and it’s bullying. Sally bumps into Jodie and it’s bullying. Every little upset is now labelled as bullying.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There is definitely more bullying going on now than there was just a few years ago. There are many reasons for that. But that’s the subject of another post. I thought I would just clear the fog a bit by giving you the exact definitions of WHAT BULLYING IS.
These are the three markers of bullying taken directly from my Bully Prevention Parenting Seminar. If the action qualifies for any of the three, it IS bullying. Here they are:
- Imbalance of Power – Big kid against little kid. Popular kid against less popular kid. Many children against one. Etc…
- Intent to Harm – Once a child has been bullied once, the bully has chosen the target and in every future interaction has an intent to harm the victim.
- Threat of Further Aggression – Whether it’s an implied threat or an actual threat… If the bullied child feels that in the near future there is a threat that it will happen again, then it qualifies.
Those are the three that describe it best.
I look forward to hearing your comments.
Thanks,Dedicated to reducing bullying at your school!
John Abrams – www.AmazingSchoolAssemblies.com
Southern California’s Top Elementary School Assembly Performer